Catacombs of the Heart
by kyotoprincess
Summary: I really hated him." Gilbert's hatred burns for Break but Break tells him something that might as well change his life. Will Gilbert think twice? “Thank you… Gilbert.”


I'm proud of this piece. I was listening to Karinui by Mamiko Noto (a.k.a. the singer of the ending episodes of Jigoku Shoujo). I was also hungry when I was writing this. Weird how I felt more emotions in this story then ever. Anyway, the reason it's called the Catacombs of the Heart is because of the ending. If you understand what I mean, then yay! If you don't I'll tell you okay... just not right now :P Anyway, there is probably a lot of OC-ness, especially with Break. Oh! And it's written in Gil's POV but you'll figure it out anyway. Damn, now that I think about it, this story probably sucks monkey balls TT^TT

Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing. All rights reserved and whatnot!

Gil: Finally! Jeez you're crazy!

Me: You're mean *cries*

Gil: *guilty conscience* O-Oh! S-Sorry!

Me: *coughs* loser *coughs*

* * *

_I really hated how he said that._

_…_

_It was the way he said that._

_……_

_It made me mad. How can that clown understand, anyway?_

_………._

_How can he ever understand someone so close to him drifting away._

_Slowly… Painfully… Yet surely drifting away._

_….…………_

"Do you want to know how I understand your pain, Raven~?"

No, I don't want to. In fact, I could care less, really. All you do is harass me anyway. Since when did you care? No, seriously, I wish that he could just go die in a hole or something. He started to chuckle in his throat. There was nothing funny about this, dumbass. You seriously need medication, or have you not taken it yet? Then he did something that made me wish I should've slapped myself. _He smiled._

"It's because you are slowly drifting… _away from me_."

There was no way he'd lie about this. Especially since his smile was so pure and serene. But me. I was.. drifting away from him. **Me… but why me**? I didn't understand it. No, I probably did understand it but… it was just too much. Too much to handle. I saw his smile, the real smile, fade slowly away. I harshly shook my head, trying to get those damned words out of my head.

"Don't fuck with me, Break!"

I yelled at him. Not intentionally though. I just couldn't take it. I didn't want to yell at him like that. Then all he did was snicker. **What?! Was it all a front!? Was he really toying with my emotions?** Oh, but this time he went too far. This time, he really did. He waved his hand under his sleeve and smiled. No wait. He walked down the corridor before I could register what happened. I heard his footsteps echo. Then he took a left and disappeared.

_What?_

That smile he flashed at me. That smile. It wasn't the same toying smile. No, it was full of regret and sadness. I couldn't believe what I did. I actually hurt that fool's feelings. But he is human, even though he can be pretty mean at times. I leaned against the wall, for support. Inside, my heart felt clenched up tight, like it was about to explode. My stomach felt like throwing up or something to that level. But more importantly,** me**. I felt so heavy for some reason. I felt like I was already dead.

"Heh."

_I didn't know the dead felt this heavy._

_…_

_I didn't know my heart_ yearned _for him_

_……._

_I didn't know anything at all._

_…………_

_Did I really change? Or am I still that same Gilbert?_

It was time to sleep by then. Or should I say, everyone was already asleep. It was midnight anyway. But I didn't feel tired. No, I felt like I should just die already and get it over with. I should just go apologize, right? But, I felt scared. Tch! Why would I be scared anyway? … why indeed. Gathering all my courage, I decided to find the clown apologize like a man. It was the least I could do, right?

I walked down the hall until I found a door halfway open. Inside, Break was leaning against the stone railing on the balcony. Sooner or later, I would have to face Break again. So I might as well get over with it. I stepped inside the room and close the door behind me. Wait, why would I do that anyway? He turned around and grinned. But there was something different about it.

"Raven~ To what do I owe the pleasure of?"

"Please cut it out, Break."

He always did send shivers down my spine. He took out a lollipop from out of nowhere and gave me it. I took it without hesitation. I don't know why I did it, but I did it anyway. He pulled the small chair from the table that was apparently set for tea. It had suspicion written all over it.

"Care for some tea, Raven~"

He had that creepy smile again. Reluctantly, I sat down with Break as he poured me a cup of tea. I guessed that it was black tea that Break was using because of the distinct smell. Now that you mention it, Break always did like black tea. I had no idea why, though. I took a small sip before setting it down again. Break looked at me through a mischievous smile as he linked his hands together and rested his chin on top of them.

_So that's what it was._

For some time, the corners of his cheeks would twitch. The smile itself looked extremely fake whenever he twitched. He was still bothered by it too. My sudden reaction, that it. I looked down for a moment. So much for that courage I had.

"S-Sorry." I sighed. "I never expected that from you. The confession, I mean"

It was sort of like a confession, right? I waited for his reply. I didn't want to look up. For fear that he probably had a mocking expression smacked across his face.

"Hmm, I'm guessing you're still confused, huh?"

"Huh? Confused on what?"

That made me look up when he didn't reply quick enough. He smiled as he played with his tea cup as if he was interested in it. But with that glazed, far-off look, I could tell otherwise. It was **depressing**. That was one thing that surprised me. Another was that _smile_. It was rather sorrowful for a smile. I wonder what he is thinking right now.

"When Oz-kun was brought to Abyss, I though that maybe I could fill that void in your heart. So that you wouldn't look so helpless to me. When he came back, I kind of got jealous. I saw that you wanted to stay by his side, _no matter what_. That's when I saw you drifting away from me."

Again, my heart clenched up. Why? He put his cup back down and returned to his normal position. He smiled. It still was rather sorrowful for a smile. Especially from Break. I felt my heart thump in it's tighten position. It hurt. It _physically, mentally, emotionally _hurt for me. But… I think it probably hurt more for Break. Especially Break.

"That's why I'll let you drift away from me. I don't really mind._ I want you to drift further away from me…"_

That last sentence was a lie. Dammit, it was a fucking** lie!** He pounded the table with a hard fist. I was really angry now. I gritted my teeth as I let the bangs of my hair cover my eyes. Break probably looked surprised right now or happily pretending that he looked content.

"W-What if I don't want to drift away from you?!"

I felt a light blush come to show. Was I really angry at him? But anyway, I thought I already solved my random blushing problem. Great. This is just perfect. I saw Break had that surprised look on his face. Then he started laughing. _What the fuck?_ What the hell is his problem today? Seriously! He grinned.

"Gil's blush is so cute~"

My entire face probably went pink. Dammit, Break, you'll pay for this! He continued to laugh. Man, I can't believe that just happened, I mean seriously! I should probably stop hanging out with my so-called friend. Though I never see him as a friend before.

"Oi! It's not that funny!"

The laughter slowly died out. But… he kept smiling. He kept smiling that real smile. He stood up.

"But…"

I watched him as he walked his way over to me. Now what is he going to do? By then, my blush died out as well. He tenderly grasped my hand. I had a feeling my blush came back because I felt my entire face turn pink. I felt his other hand move the hair away from my forehead. My heart skipped a beat as I felt soft, tender lips on my forehead. He just kissed me. Break just _kissed_ me. And surprisingly, I didn't mind it. No, I didn't mind it at all. I felt the energy drained from me. But most importantly, what I felt in that kiss was real.

_I was never too good with the reality thing. It must be curse or something._

"Thank you… _Gilbert."_

That was the first time he ever called me by my real name. I like it a lot. I liked being called Gilbert, especially if Break will call me that. I didn't mind that Break did that. In fact, it proved to me that he probably loves me. Err, I mean deeply cares for me. I never thought that this would happen. And oddly, I'm okay with that.

From that day on, it's been the same. Nothing's changed. Except for those nights when Break would sexually harass me. Damn clown! And those nights where he would want to sleep on my shoulders. He always makes up an excuse, saying that he is checking if I'm strong enough or something.

_…_

_I really hated him._

_……_

_I really hated how he was able to do it._

_……….._

_How he was able to make me feel like I have a purpose._

_…….._

_How he was able to make me feel loved._

_…_

* * *

Okay if you haven't figured it out, the reason why it's called Catacombs of the Heart is because Gil's heart was buried but Break was able to save it. Okay R&R apperciated :D


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